December 31, 2008

  • HAPPY NEW YEAR....sorta.  I am going to have the same tired ass resolutions.  *sigh* Will I ever learn?  No?!  Ok.  So, I was telling one of my friends about the beginning of my love/hate relationship with anorexia and it started in Jan 1988.  I was 13yrs old.  My friends and I were in the lunch room at school discussing the Valentine's dance coming up and what we were going to wear (we were dressing alike)-boxer shorts with black biker type shorts under (it was the 80's mind you) and a batman t-shirt.  What stands out the most was looking at my thighs....and being absolutely disgusted and mortified.  I decided right then and there that something had to change.  Boy, did it ever.  I had always had a strange relationship with food as it was (extremely picky) but things got downright ugly between me and food.  To this day-food is winning.  Fucker. 
    Anyway, thats part of my sad story....waawaa baby.  So, take a wild guess at what my new years resolution is-yep, lose weight.  Starve myself til I am happy. 

    Cheers

Comments (6)

  • I remember too...when I was 14 I really started comparing my thighs, legs to others..and always always wanted to get skinnier..though I was thin in retrospect of course..but I tried at 14, 15, 16 to get skinnier all the time... at 16 especially to get my hipbones to show abit. I looked awesome in th ebikini..oh i tried to though.. weird how it all starts so young. no one ever even told me I looked fat.. I just loved the way the skinniest girls looked..and of course felt better skinny and  got the boys attention more..the skinnier I got..anyhow.. happy effin starvin new year! LOL.. : ) This damn food keeps winning over me too! can I just please avoid it..tomorrow we can try, right? chat later!

    Love & Hugs

    xoxoxoxoxo

  • Happy New Year!!! <3

    I was 13 when I started too.... It was my stomach more than anything else for me... I was 4'10", 85 lbs and I thought I was fat... *sighs*

    Anyways take care!!
    I hope 2009 is a great year for you!!
    ♥♥

  • Happy new year, sweetie. My resolution is to stop purging once and for all...we'll see how long that lasts. I hope we have the strength to stick to what we promised ourselves.

  • my thighs were always a source of pure disgust for me.  screw resolutions, but yeah, mine is the same as yours.

    Hugs!!!!!

  • i love you just for you angel...xxx

  • come on over and see my kitties!

    xoxoxoxo

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