I didn't want to do it but I have no choice. I stopped losing weight after about a 6lb loss this month.  I wanted 10 so FUCK YOU body.  I will win.  4lbs in 4 days.  Mother Fucker.  Take a wild f'in guess how I am gonna do it?  Oh let's see-no food, too many senna pills and a salt flush.  Oh yea, throw in too much exercise too.  Asshole.  I hate my body. 
Let's see what else is new.....blah.  Not the happiest camper right now oh well. 

Getting outta here soon so I can go....exercise.  Yep.  Lucky me. 

BF is going to kill me with his snoring.  I hate him. 

Not feeling so good today.  Over-tired and stressed.  Am very glad its friday.  Ugh. 

He won't leave me alone.  I have told him over and over.  I almost feel as if it is some sort of joke.  How can this be? I wanted this for so long and now...I can't take it.  I am doing my best to resist it.  He keeps asking me to come see him.  I almost bought a ticket.  ALMOST.  Then I snapped out of it-its like he hypnotizes me or something-I know, stupid.  I blocked him from my IM's and email and phone.  I told him that I absolutely adore him but that I cannot do this.  I don't know how long til I break.  Fuck it all. 

Forgot to update on my progress.  Its ok.  Nothing like violently shitting your brains out to make you put things in perspective.  Ha!  Down another 1.5 since last week.  I wish you could pick where the shit comes from-I would definitely choose thighs.  I am on an ankle obsession though lately.  I am worried about cankles. 

I am having a tough time lately.  I will explain more later.  I can't resist.  He is literally driving me insane....

I am jealous of this person.

Into day 2 with no food.  Tomorrow salt flush.  I am gonna drink senna tea tonight to help loosen things up beforehand. 
I left my house without weighing.  Not good.  Today is gonna be long without knowing.  Some people are afraid of the scale.  I live for it.  I have to know.  HAVE TO.  I might go down to purchasing/receiving so I can weigh on theirs, although its not my official scale.  I just need to see.  Ugh. 
I guess there were jellyfish and portugese-man-o-war on the beach yesterday.  Not fun for those out swimming.  I was stuck at work so oh well. 
Ok, can't take it.  Going to visit the scale.  And get coffee. 

Down another pound.  What is going on here?  This is weird.  I have been really consistent in my exercise.  But this seems odd.  I wonder if my scale was moved or something. 

ECA stack-ephedrine, caffeine and asprin taken in combination to help curb appetite and burn fat.  Apparently, body builders use it.  I don't know the exact combo to take.  I am researching...

For those of you who have not done a salt flush-its like a high powered laxative.  It seriously cleans you out and quickly.  It is disgusting, Epsom Salt does not taste good.  But no salt tastes good when drinking it.  What I have done in the past is take a 24oz plastic water bottle and mix the stuff in cold water (not room temp like I normally drink) and slam it down quick.  Then I drink some plain regular water.  I have gagged but never puked.  After that, in about an hour, make sure you are near your bathroom because you will shit like no tomorrow.  But the shits go away pretty quickly after a few times of going and you can get on with your day.  You will feel like your intestines have had a bath and your stomach feels emptier than normal.  Speaking of poo....its 7:30 amd I haven't gone yet, hhmmm.  I am usually pretty regular.  I know, I know, TMI.  Sorry.
Here is my eating/not eating/salt flush schedule for the rest of this month:
Jan 15 no food
Jan 16 no food
Jan 17 salt flush and fruits/veggies
Jan 18 fruits/veggies
Jan 19 fruits/veggies
Jan 20 salt flush and no food
Jan 21 proteins
Jan 22 proteins
Jan 23 no food
Jan 24 salt flush and no food
Jan 25 open day for whatever
Jan 26 fruits/veggies
Jan 27 fruits/veggies
Jan 28 salt flush and no food
Jan 29 no food
Jan 30 proteins
Jan 31 salt flush and proteins
I should be down about 10lbs total by end of Jan and with this weird weightloss that I am experiencing-I am off to a good start from the beginning of the month.  This is a very managable schedule.  Not an overwhelming number if days in a row of no eating so metabolism shouldn't take a dive.  Well, I have a fucked up metabolism as it is because of the years of starving/over eating/starving pattern. 
Ugh...need more coffee.  Ha!  Did anyone read the article in the news yesterday that people who drink a lot of coffee are more likely to hallucinate?  LOL thats so me!
Hugs

Another .5lb-3 for the week.  I am not eating the rest of this week and then Saturday doing a salt flush.  That should get me down a couple more.  Then it will be some fruits and veggies for a couple of days and then another salt flush.  Mixing in eating and no eating and salt flushes.  I have it all planned out for the remainder of this month.  I should be down 10-11lbs by Feb 1. 

Anyone ever try an ECA stack?  Any luck?  I don't want to have a heart attack....

Down 2.5

I suppose that can be my good news for the day. 

Blah.  Its Monday. 

My niece left Saturday so I am a bit sad today and missing her.  Me and the guy I live with-GGGRRR.  We are fighting alot lately but thats ok.  It comes and goes.
A strange thing happened last week-my Boston Boy (who I had to cut ties with because he was breaking my heart) has suddenly tried to get back into my life full force.  Making pleas and promises of how it will be different and blah blah blah.  I said I have been down this road with you before and not going there again, it is not good for my head or my heart.  He said he really misses me.  I said its because I am not chasing after you-everyone misses that.  LOL.  I have to stick with it.  But he is making it hard. 
I am really bloated right now-my boobs hurt and my belly is all Budda like.  I should take some water pills or something.  It makes me not want to exercise.  Thats not gonna happen though. 
Well, hope everyone has a great day. I am certainly going to try!