HOLY SHIT WHERE HAVE I BEEN??????

Just busy is all....I jacked up my knee so I haven't been able to run or exercise much which has spiraled me into a depression.  Ugh.  I have a dr appt on Friday.

I had my wisdom teeth pulled last week so that has been a fun experience. LOL

My newest nephew will be born on the 18th via C-Section.  He just didn't want to flip over like he was supposed to.

Going to visit my fam and my love the end of this month.  Yay!

Why is it that I can find all the things in the world to say about everyone else but me?   

Things are going ok, I am working my butt off.  Doing an 8mile walk/run on the 27th of June.  1/2Marathon on the 7th of Sept.  One of my sis is coming to do it with me.  Yay!

Um......Oh yea!!!  I had a follow up neurology appointment yesterday and I have no new active lesions on my brain (I have MS for those that don't know) and all of my test results are great, better than most people.  My blood pressure has stabilized at 99/73 which is really low for me and I am down to about 3 ciggies a day.  Um...I think thats all the updates I have for now.  Maybe.  I want to go home. 

http://lizzie-wizzie.xanga.com/703707936/an-open-letter-to-my-body/

*Sigh* I am jealous.

I can't stop crapping today.  My bum is starting to hurt.  I think I ate some bad veggies yesterday.  Plus I am getting nervous-I am getting my wisdom teeth pulled on Monday.  Ugh.  I suppose.  This isn't really an update but whatever.  I have to go to the bathroom again. 

Blah ugh blah ugh blah ugh blah ugh....I will update soon. I promise.   

OK, Ok, ok....where to start. 

I am trying to learn to say fuck it at work.  These people are a-holes most of the time and I am just not going to deal with them.  I am tired of it.  I try.  There is only so much I can do.  *sigh*
I am down 3.7lbs in 5 days.  Not sure how that happened but it makes me happy.  I am not going anywhere near the cafeteria at work ever again.  I am doing things slightly differently-protein shakes made with milk in the morning when I first get up.  Water, coffee, iced tea all day.  Sensible dinner including a couple of Oreos (I have a wicked sugar addiction so I cannot skip sugar completely as hard as I try.  Someone will die if I do and it might be me) and then my vitamins-daily multi, cayenne, DHEA, bladderwrack, flaxseed oil pill, super B complex, and cloves (or cinnamon depending on which I have, right now it is cloves).  Thats the food, now for the exercise-45-60min of walking/running and 30min gym in the morning on most days.  Sometimes I sjkip the gym and just do the walking/running.  35min to ???? walking, wii fit, crunches, push ups, etc.  So, usually it works out to about and additional 60-90min of exercise.  Bed between 8:30-9 up at 4 and all over again.  Kinda lame but hey, if it works, it works and right now it is working.  Not sure why considering I have been doing this for months.  Well, I added the protein shakes.  Maybe thats it?!?  I almost had a heart attack on Sunday-talked to mom and she told me my stepdad had lost 25lbs.  He is like 60yrs old.  I thought well, if he can do it, so can I, I USED to be a pro at losing weight.  So, thats my motivation.  That and the Youtube series I watched.  I should post those videos here....
One other thing that might be helping is that my Boston boy KNOWS pretty much everything about my food issues.  It is something we talked at length about years ago.  He knows just to be there when I have a big food crisis.  I don't talk about it incessantly but sometimes it feels good to not have this secret that I have been carrying for 20+yrs. 
I suppose....I should do some work.  Yuk. 

Every time I try to type an entry-I can't think of anything to say.  Blah. 

Hey....Long time no write.  I have been under a lot of stress.  I have not exercised one bit in a week and half (which makes the stress worse) and have been eating out of control.  I must be bulking up for the flu pandemic.  Ha.  The funny thing is that twice in two days I have had people ask me if I am losing weight.  Weird.  Am I? No, but fucking watch out now. 
My friend got fired from work two weeks ago.  She deleted a BUNCH of shit off the network.  Important files. Probably not realizing that it would be me she is causing a problems for not everyone else.  Oh well.  She was upset but fuck, rip up paper or something. 
I have to get back into my routine.

Suicidal hatred is what I am feeling towards my fatass thighs.  Fuckers.  I know what I have to do.  *sigh* I just didn't want to go there. Ever again. 

Stress. Ugh. It is impossible to lose weight when you are under a lot of stress.  I have been kicking the shit out of myself exercising for 6 weeks and my weight does not budge.  I haven't started eating more-actually have been eating better (ie. at home and not out) but still nothing.  And I know its the stress.  So, how am I trying to combat this?  I have added an additional supplement-dhea-to my diet to help with adrenal gland function and upped the Omega 3's.  I just started a couple of days ago and I am not sure if this is due to the additional pills but the last two nights I felt I slept better-my mind was not racing all night. 
I have got to break my wicked, wicked sugar addiction.  I have been saying this for years.  Have to.  I need to lose a few lbs before end of July when I am gonna see my Boston boy again.   
I need an exercise bike.  Can someone point me in the right direction?  What do I look for in one?

Hugs