October 29, 2008
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So, I have let my head win. I said enough is enough and that 'I give up' to my east coast love (J). Completely. I told him that I was more than willing to do or try anything to make it work but that he wasn't making any moves or communicating what he thought and that was not fair-I can't decide anything without him other than to just give up my hopes of it working. I need to focus on what I want and if he ever decides to go full tilt then I will consider it then. It was not easy. I am crushed but I will survive and be stronger for it. I know that I have a huge capacity to love someone with my full heart and now it is finding that someone (I had hoped that I had). My only problem is that I am one of those girls that always needs a boyfriend to feel validated or something-maybe it is my low self-esteem that makes me feel less worthwhile when I do not have a man, I don't know-but I am going to try my damndest to not jump into a full scale relationship for awhile.
I am going to take up a hobby-I am going to try learning some new things. This will be a way to make me more interesting and to meet new people. I need to fall in love with life.
Comments (4)
i believe in you and know that you can be ok without a man...i hope that you can find some validation in that your an amazing person who's inner strength is so very strong...hold on angel xxx
I hear ya girl. Being in a relationship seems to be the one thing that always fills that void for me.
I'm glad you are taking a stand though, and looking out for YOU.
This is huge..
much love,
Karma
"I need to fall in love with life. "
When you do, tell me what the secret is. I would give you words of advice but that would be a mockery since I am unable to help myself. So I'll just be content with telling you that you have my support and love and I believe you're a fighter and you'll get through all this alright.
Aaww Thank you so much for your comment.
I'm happy to read this post. I know how crushing it is to go through this. I did it too. I sometimes still dream about him, and wonder whats going on in his life now...then I think he probably has a girlfriend and I stop thinking about it. I know now that it was not meant to be and that I am so much better off with that situation out of my life completely.
HUGE HUGS TO YOU!!
Love yoU!
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