October 27, 2008
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Sometimes I hate everything.
Its a hate everything day. I have too much shit to do and not enough time. It doesn't help that I am dead tired. I am not sleeping well. I know that is part of it but nothing I can do to get myself to sleep. I suppose I could start taking pills. But I really do not want to do that.
I can't get rid of my east coast guy. Its breaking my heart. I told him either we try to figure out how to be together or not continue this strange dance of yes, no, maybe. I told him I want to be friends with him but I will need some time and space before I can do that. At first he didn't say anything and we stopped talking . A couple of hours later he txt me and just said why? He said when he comes here he wants to see how it is and not have it be weird because we are trying to be just friends. *sigh* Why can't things just be easy? I wish he would just say he wants to be with me and that I should move. I would in a heartbeat.
My head and my heart are fighting. I think I am going to let my head win this one.
Happy Monday
Comments (3)
Hey C- first of all, your comment to me was amazing. Truly. Thank you so much for your words, you have no idea how touched I am.
Sorry you're having a "hate everything"day. I know those all too well.
As for East Coast guy, well I guess guys don't always say the things we want to hear, even if they are thinking of them. Maybe he doesn't realize that you would move over there for him- does he?
I know it seems like things are never easy. I guess we have to just do the best we can with the situations we are in. When is he visiting you?
Hang in there and have a better evening..
xoxo
Karma
Honey, I know you are going to hate this, but he may just not be that much into you. I am sure he likes you, and may even love you, but potentially not as much as you like / love him. You are willing to give up everything for him, while he seems to be keeping you as an option. You are always there for him, no matter what he does, who he is with, it would be stupid to give you up as a lover. You don't deserve that stuff, honestly, either he is in for an honest relationship or he isn't. And then he is certainly not worth your worries. There are plenty of others out there whom you don't notice because you are preoccupied with him. And someone who want things to be "easy"...come on, life ain't easy, relationships ain't easy, if he is not in for the good AND the bad, he should move on! You deserve something better.
I totally agree with Sophie's comment. and I'm glad you are leaning towards the head side of your inner battle. Sometimes your heart can get you into trouble, which only leads to more and more heartbreak.
RYC: YES! My hubby IS rebellious. He wants what he wants and that wins every time. I just let him have me last night, but he could tell I didnt want to. I told him to just do it. (Get it OVER with!!!!) Otherwise I would HAVE to do it tonight or hear his bitching. I used to like sex, really.
anyway, I posted something exciting today!!
HUGS!!!
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