August 22, 2006

• Niece called me to tell me that everything is good and fun right now-thats because you haven't had classes yet kiddo.  I think she is in for a surprise but I hope she does well.  If she puts her mind to it, she will be fine. 
  Getting ready to go to Louisville.  I hope its better experience then the last two stores I set up.  I hope its a store and not a construction site still.  But when its a construction site, the guys take out all my cardboard boxes (which is possibly the worst part of my job when I set up new stores).
  Worked out at gym 40min, run/walk 1hr 15min.  I must've run more than normal as my booty is a little sore today which is a GOOD thing.  I need to cut back on smoking.  I don't smoke too much as it is but I think I would be able to exercise more if I cut back some. But that doesn't sound fun.
  I didn't eat yesterday.  Didn't feel like it.  Maybe I won't today too.  I am pretty close to where I wanted to be but I think I have set another goal of where I want to be.  There is always a new goal though isn't there?  I had goal pants which now fit and may be a little big but now I look at them hanging and they seem as big as a tarp.  I am scared to get rid of my big clothes, I am such a cow that I see getting rid of them and then outgrowing any new clothes but I have read to get rid of bigger clothes so that you have a reason to not get bigger.  I am rambling. 
  Everything about me is huge.  I did body check this morning and thats always depressing.  My belly is huge.  I need it to be flatter or concave but it is a bit rounded still.  My arms will not get thinner.  I hate it.   I hate my body.   Everyone keeps saying I am small, smaller, little.  Everyone is a liar.  LIARS!  Stop lying to me-I am not stupid, I know what I look like. 
  Argh-off to work.

  • 11:17 am
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